in the span of the last couple hours or so i have experienced a mercilessly vast, emotional plateau, and a reflexively self defending force inside of me pushing against it, refusing to buckle entirely. then, a sense of weary muscle, fatigued resistence, and subsequent confusion in emotion.
it began as i found myself spontaneously overcome with a seemingly endless vortex, one of anger and resistance to this abstract but very real oppression felt consistently day to day. i wrote some sentences down in an attempt to purge this toxicity. strong sentences, eloquent and more importantly, real. ones of a certain buried feeling, in the form of a constant internal whispering, a vampirish chatter. stuttering echoes of my own voice, apologizing to society for my offensive being. “i’m sorry i’m not traditionally feminine enough for you! not delicately fragile enough for you! not softly soprano pitched for you! not self doubting and passive for you! not a subserviantly oppressed, silenced member of this decidedly inferior sector of society for you! not dumb deaf and blind enough for you, nor indifferent to your self appointed dominance over me! not sufficiently grateful for your authoritative “guidance”! not oblivious to your gross patronization of my mind, not weakened by your alien power, hour by hour, enough for you!”
a little while after these dysfunctions of mine, malfunctions of the conditioned mind, i came to a conclusion i think we all cyclically lead ourselves to, which is to breathe. then exhale. then breathe again. these attitudes cannot be changed or erased in a day, nor our own thoughts to begin with. but i believe our active consciousness is one of our strongest weapons, and everyone has a right to and should vocalise theirs, if they are coming from a true place of care for the preservation and progression of our equal self love and love for one another. we must identify and note our thought and behavioural patterns if we want to progress as individuals and collectively, as an earth community.
question the common conventions, morals, ideals and priorities active around you, how they level and operate. do they resonate with you? put yourself in another’s body and ask yourself again, do they resonate? ask, do they accommodate to my mental and spiritual frequencies? do they acknowledge my complex, sensitive, and entirely unique being? or do these external projections cause my balance to strike out, to spike erratically with feelings of paranoia, perhaps inferiority, segregation, or anxiety? are these projections such projections i am expected to adhere to and follow in uniform procession? if so, were these projections made with a care factor for who i am as an individual and my own path? do they allow me to succeed and reach my personal aspirations, or do they only allow me a slim chance to succeed with the limitations and pressure of total conformity, identity fatality. in other words, do these projections, with their superficial appearances of success, foster my potential and what it is to realize and reach it?
these are musings, as we are all affected differently one way or another by the environment we inhabit. my point to this is that the more of us whom are increasingly aware of these patterns being forced upon, the more apparent it will be among more of us that they are forced out of no nurturing intention, but salivating desire for power, control and let’s not forget, the many forms of reward there is to be reaped from our weakness, resignation and fear. be strong, be smart, and be aware. no promise hiding a lie or product you buy currently being put forward for us to try under the guidelines of our society’s current conventions, will elevate you to any sense of affirmation or assurance. no state of contentment or peace. why would it? working you for all you’ve got, feeding your belly bloated, dumbing your mind down to oblivion, until you’re so disorientated that when you finally come face to face with your own discontentment, you’ll sure as hell spend your hard earned money without a moment’s thought, on the same old empty promises in transparent clothes.
another weight loss food substitute that will evaporate 10 kilos right off of you, without you lifting a finger, bar to reach for another cheezel.
all the various “health bars” that judging by the advertisement, inducts you into the Bona Fide Real Man Club, and into the wonderland of biceps and blondes upon purchase.
various “asset” enhancing underwear available for both genders, profiting upon people’s insecurities, convinced this saviour product is a necessity to appear desirable. breeding adults of fully fledged exhibitionist status, our heads high with ego, never with soul.
styles of clothing to facilitate the presence of your very common eating disorder and your ability to feign that admirable confidence when you head out for a night of drinking, smoking, feather ruffling and chest puffing.
unethically produced cosmetics filled with chemicals, damaging and aging to your naturally beautiful skin.
miracle anti-aging creams that are about as anti-aging as a healthy smoking habit.
various virtual realities, games, escapist routes, perhaps distracting you from your true purpose and aspirations.
all the magazines to read, programs to watch, music to listen to, all about the same thing. all based off of the same soulfully and spiritually bereft morals.
all with the same joke, and the same punchline. and it’s on you. you’ve read it now, you’ve given it power. it has infiltrated your thoughts, and now that it has it’s twice as likely now that it will again.
be above it. you are more. so much more. you are beautiful. you are divine. you are independent. live by your own values, live by your own decisions! surround yourself with those who inspire you and whom you inspire. who want nothing from you but to know you. who have our livelihood’s best interests at heart. who ache for humankind to progress to a higher ground of understanding and peaceful coexistence. those who’s love does not discriminate with conditions, those who’s empathy has a pulse of its own, those who’s soul is not proud nor conceited, and those who’s spirit transcends these very struggles.
peace and power
nancycatmobile asked: Hi. I love your songs .... from Japan
eeee i duno when you sent this so sorry if this is from ages ago but i am glad you do thank you! :3 <3 i’ll come to japan some day